me getting a job


employer: why is your resume a pictures of 1970 david gilmour’s butt

me: actually that is from 1972

employer: oh shit you’re right you’re hired 

done sprained my titty bone this morning 


about me: i am sorry


i like to use exclamation marks because they cover up the fact that i am dead inside!!!!

a question for myself: am i attracted to david gilmour or am i simply attracted to his sneakers 


r u ever like damn i hate my body but then ur like life is an illusion i’m floatin around on a rock trapped in an orbit around a ball of flame in a vast & largely unknown universe where death is unescapable who gives a shit ???


when ur walking by people and they laugh



I’m in this weird stage where I don’t really like myself, but I don’t really care anymore


you’re rlly cool i think you’re chill and nice and i hope college is good for you!!!


for starters your aesthetic is so well thought out and alienish (((in the good way ofc! as if there’d be a bad way tbh))) and you are really cool and nice and we don’t talk much but we gotta fix that


i love typing like this tbh it’s very comfortable and using internet slang is nice. I feel sorry for the ppl who are stuck on the idea that using proper grammar makes u superior to others

The Number Game

Send me a number from 1-500 and I’ll tell you how I feel about you in a post without anyone knowing your identity.

hey everyone


im going to be taking a 15 minute hiatus from tumblr to take a shower. i have a queue set up so don’t worry. please don’t try to miss me too much!!!


Kids please don’t think that it’s unusual or special to be dating someone with whom you can watch netflix and eat pizza and hold hands and also have hot sex with

It concerns me when I see millions of notes on a post that’s like “fuck me hard but also be sweet with me”

Like what kinds of relationships are you in that you think this is a revolutionary thing to ask